I didn’t go to my XC meet because of an injury :( and now I’m looking at the pictures and I’m so sad i didn’t go!! and the JV girls got 2nd place and now i feel that if i had gone we could have gotten 1st (not that it’s something to brag about but I’m pretty much the fastest at jv) BUT i am so happy i got to sleep in till 9am, and I’m going to rest my leg, and go back to running on monday and KICK ASS the rest of the season and help JV girls get 1st on districts on october! NOT QUITTING!
This week was SO much better, radical change of attitude towards everything :) Im so happy!
*WARNING: %100 NEGATIVE POST*
*SERIOUSLY DONT READ THIS IF YOURE IN A BAD MOOD TOO*
*writing this just to let it all out*
Literally the worst week I’ve ever experienced. Not only was it my first week back in school, my classes are sucky, a lot of the teachers suck, i have not enough energy to socialize or pay attention in class, i felt like an outcast almost every class, all my friends are in another lunch period so i had to sit with people i barely know, the guy i used to like and me are NOT TALKING or even LOOKING AT EACH OTHER and i miss him with all my HEART!! my birthday sucked, i have so much homework, i only worked out 4 times because my shins are destroyed, my eating was HORRIBLE ALL WEEK, my 2 mile race sucked and didn’t make top 10 girls in my school, the party yesterday was an emotional mess, me and 2 friends cried because we feel like outsiders and empty, and i saw the guy i used to like with his new slut of a girlfriend, i know this is super selfish but i don’t know why I’m letting all this affect me and make me feel like i have no reason to be alive.
BUT.. i am determined to make this week better and let God guide me through this hard time. I just need god in my life right now and yesterday i realized how weak i am without him. This week is going to be GREAT! :D
I ACCIDENTALY RUBBED MY EYE AFTER USING TIGER BALM ON MY LEGS AND NOW THE FRESHNESS IS BURNING ME! IM DYING!
but i am thinking about quitting cross country. I am tired of not being good enough. i do EVERYTHING to my 100%. I run in the morning, in the afternoon, lift, and stretch but i just can’t seem to make my time better. Ive been doing this for 2 whole years but i am pretty sure genetics and body build have something to do with me not getting better. I am tired physically and mentally every day for NOTHING! I know it’s a great sport and a great way to know people and stuff but i much rather focus on studying and socializing than something that is hurting me and exhausting me! Of course ill keep working out, but because i enjoy it not because i feel I’m not good enough and i have to try harder. so yeah. I’m quitting. ill make my final decision next week.
It’s my birthday tomorrow and i am NOT ONE BIT excited. Im never exited for my birthdays and i know i am supposed to naturally. But i hope it’s a good one! i get to sleep in and wake up at 6:20am tomorrow so I’m exited for that and ill eat a KEY LIME PIE, so I’m exited for that too! :) Finally 17 after all these years claiming to be that age.
Please let this be an amazing year. I wish i didn’t have to go to school and just run with my xc team everyday and go swimming and do yoga. And meet people with my same interests as me and go hiking and exploring places with them, and eat healthy food next to people who understand my lifestyle. and not try to fit in or feel like an outsider ever again! I wish high school meant that, not the exact opposite.
It went pretty good :) I’ve never ran a 5k in my life on xc, only in like fun races or charity races or on my own. But the burn was intense! I felt like dying and crying and stoping a couple of times but didn’t give up :) My time was 23:13 and placed 29th out of 120 girls. i hope i can get to a <21:00 by october!
Me at my drivers ed class wearing my gun n roses t shirt minding my own business. This guy comes up to me ” oh hi.” *Looks at my shirt* “guns n roses? you look like someone with much more swag than that band.”
Please don’t use the word SWAG and Guns n roses in the same phrase the type of guys that approach me is just unacceptable! -.-
I had 3 months of summer to read my english ap summer reading book and i chose the last 4 days of it to start it. and it is SOOO boring! can i just finish this already!?!?! Im also procrastinating my sleep, which I’m going to regret tomorrow at 5:45am practice -.- EW everything sucks.
OH MY GOD TELL ME THIS ISNT TRUE. i was with my mom and she had a little black hair in her mouth. and i told her “mom you have one of harry’s (my dog) hairs in your mouth” and she was like “What? oh i don’t think it’s harry’s :)” God, i hope i just have a dirty mind because i am seriously disgusted right now.